One Day At A Time

I grew up in the eighties and remember mom and dad smoking in the house, in the car, just about everywhere. I remember thinking I was cool just like mom and dad as I blew out the smoke from my candy cigarette. I have flipped through child hood photos to see myself as an infant in my mother's lap as she holds her cigarette between her delicate fingers. The sad fact is that I lost both my grandfather and my mother to lung cancer. Both of them were life long smokers. I did what every kids does after learning that tobacco is bad for you in health class, I went home and gave my your killing yourself speech to my parents, which only aggitated them. After my mother was diagnosed with cancer I watched her slowly drop weight from her already naturally thin frame. I saw her wince in pain and lose enjoyment of life. I remember telling her about the electronic cigarette and how it has no tobacco, tar, carbon monoxide or any of the 4,000 harmful chemicals in tobacco cigarettes. My hope was to...

I'm not sure when my passion for documentaries began, but I am officially hooked. I have watched films on food, shopping, religion and more. What I find myself going back to are films about what we eat in this country. It doesn't surprise me that we don't eat right or that we eat too much. What I am surprised to learn is what is in our food, where it comes from and the startling methods for which it is grown and produced. I just watched the documetary Food, Inc. (Available through Netflix instant watch)If you haven't seen it please do. It provides you with information about the how, what, when and why of what we eat in America. It is interesting, educational, frightening and it will wake you up. You will begin to read the labels, ask where those tomatoes that you bought in mid-winter came from. Especially if you have children. You cook a homemade meal that includes lean meat, vegetables, low fat, low sodium thinking you are doing something beneficial for your child. Yo...

Now I have my blog with no real focus. What began as a work research project, transformed into an emotional release with my mom's battle with cancer and now it seems to be as lost as I am. What do I write about, parenting, health, womanhood, marriage, life in general? As a freelance writer I have so much information in my brain. There are bits and pieces about natural health, fitness and nutrition that I know, but seldom use for my own good. I am a mother of a bright, beautiful eleven year old who I swear is having mood swings. I fear womanhood is approaching and I find myself unprepared though I myself am a woman. I have been happily married for almost twelve years. We have been through the military, the Iraq war, PTSD, funerals and daily life. It has been a wild ride with so much left to share and experience. I could ramble on about how I have been mildly depressed since the loss of my mother and how alone you feel after both of your parents are gone from this earth. I could touc...

I have not posted anything for quite some time. I have put this off, but now think I should just get this out and over with. It was Friday Nov. 19, 2010. My husband, mom and myself were learning just how terrible we were at Trivial Pursuit. We laughed and poked fun at each other. We made plans to go hiking the next day. Sat. 20 mom slept in, it was nearing noon. I knocked on her door, checked in on her. She said she was terribly tired and she was going to stay home and try to catch up on her rest. I didn't think about it too much as she had been battling insomnia for so long. When we returned from the hike mom was still in bed. Abnormally tired I thought. Sunday 21 it got weird, fast! mom was behaving as if she had a stroke. She could not concentrate, she could not tell me if she took any meds or the last time she took them. She was staggering and behaving very oddly. She was sitting outside to smoke, but could not focus to light the cigarette. I called Hospice in a panic and her n...

We are about five months in to mom's diagnosis of terminal cancer. Hospice visits weekly and mom's pain is finally beginning to be controlled. She is also on a steroid now which has her buzzing about and eating every food that contains sugar. She says that if she doesn't have her ice cream she starts jonesing. She cracks me up. Her spirits have lifted and she has been spending more time with me and talking a lot more. I am beginning to feel at ease and more comfortable with life as we now know it. I fear to fully let my guard down as I know it will not stay like this forever. I am just thankful for the positive turn around and to have my mom back, even if it's for just a short time. A childhood friend of my sister's just found out her mom had a cancerous tumor removed and that she must now have chemo. I read all of the prayers on face book and I want to say positive things for her but I am still so unsure and un-trusting of this devastating disease. I do hope with a...

With mom being diagnosed with terminal cancer and the preparations for the inevitable, life has been a little bit of a bitter pill to swallow. Strangers from Hospice coming and going and relatives searching for a last minute chance to visit have created a bit of a whirlwind lately. I am not complaining mind you. Hospice has been wonderful in explaining future events and aiding in preparations for the end of life. Mom is now in much less pain with her new meds and able to get out of bed more often. With so many stress inducing things going on I have not been reading some of my favorite blogs and just by chance I read my all time favorite from Kandee Johnson. And to my surprised eyes I see a beautiful photo of her pregnant belly. This instantly made me think of how amazing it is to carry another human being inside your body. To know you are nurturing this little person as anticipation grows for the day when you will meet him or her face to face. Life is unexpected and marvelous. The joy,...

My mom had lung cancer in 2008. I flew down and stayed with her after her surgery and she seemed to recover and life was back to normal. The pain however never went away for her and it has continued to get worse. Her living arrangements changed and she asked to move in with me and my family. I thought, its a squeeze but come on in. She's my mom and she needed a home. Well after six months of doctor visits we find the cancer has returned and it has spread. Stage 4. I wasn't in shock because as an avid researcher all signs pointed to it. But the shocker was in the news that it can't be treated. Surgery and chemo are not the option now. Radiation can help retard the growth and prevent internal bleeding. The news became harder to swallow yet. Then Hopsice comes into the picture. I always thought hospice was for the elderly. My mom is only 57. Her hair isn't even white yet! Mom's Hospice team came in like a set of swooping angel's. So much compassion in one room is r...