Now I have my blog with no real focus. What began as a work research project, transformed into an emotional release with my mom's battle with cancer and now it seems to be as lost as I am. What do I write about, parenting, health, womanhood, marriage, life in general? As a freelance writer I have so much information in my brain. There are bits and pieces about natural health, fitness and nutrition that I know, but seldom use for my own good. I am a mother of a bright, beautiful eleven year old who I swear is having mood swings. I fear womanhood is approaching and I find myself unprepared though I myself am a woman. I have been happily married for almost twelve years. We have been through the military, the Iraq war, PTSD, funerals and daily life. It has been a wild ride with so much left to share and experience. I could ramble on about how I have been mildly depressed since the loss of my mother and how alone you feel after both of your parents are gone from this earth. I could touch base on how my spirituality has been altered by life events, but I would fear to hurt others feelings or be judged for my personal beliefs. I am not quite sure where my blog will go from here. I do know however that I will not stop writing because I can't. I have written stories and journal entries since I was a young girl and it has grown into a a passionate, pure joy. There is nothing that frees my soul better than writing. A close second would be talking to my little sister, who always has a listening ear for life's ups and downs. For those who have read my blog, what would you like to read about? Let me know. Until then I wish all of my reader's a week filled with new experiences. They are their waiting for us, we often miss them because we are so distracted by routines. Take care friends!
If you are triggered by talk of depression please don't read any further. Take care of yourself. This post is a personal reflection of how someone without depression sees this illness and expresses personal opinions of such. I never really understood what depression was or what it looked like. Though to my surprise I had seen it before in my mother, it is still a mystery to me. Sure I have had deep feelings of sadness over a loss of a loved one, a beloved pet, a friendship that unraveled, or a personal failure of some type. But I always shed my tears, took a nap, gorged on carbs and sugar and moved forward. But when someone close to you experiences depression you realize it is more than a deep sadness. It's this gnawing monster that lives inside of a person and they have to battle this beast daily. Some days are better than others, but I know when the monster is strong, those days are the worst. And this is looking on from the outside. I see the struggle to be strong. I ...
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