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Showing posts from 2015

Reflection: How You See Yourself

I am deeply saddened that so many people are unhappy in their lives in part due to other peoples opinions. People take the hurtful comments of others to heart and these words and feelings lead to a great deal of emotional torment. It is a terrible way to live your life. It has taken me several years to understand that what others say about me has no impact on how I see myself, unless in fact I see myself the way they do. When I was a pre-teen and into my late teens I was teased what is now called bullying about how poor I was, with one girl asking me if I pulled my new sneakers out of a trash can. I was teased about facial hair, with boys saying I grew a better mustache than them. I was teased over my dental fluorosis with a girl asking me if I had ever brushed my teeth, and later taunted by boys, with one asking me out and saying as if I would ever date you. Meaness for sure. Years later as I grow nearer to age forty I look back and think, oh how mean. But I have learned t

Women: Equal, The Same, or Different

To all the feminists I will likely offend with my opinions in this post, I am sorry. Let me start by saying I am proud that women have stood up and fought for the rights that we are privelaged to today. As a woman I am thankful that I can work and earn an income for my family. I am proud to be able to vote, to drive, and to let my voice be heard. However, I really don't like the whole women are equal to men thing. When you start looking at the definition of equal it leads to the word same, which we all know women and men are clearly not the same. Aside from our physical differences their is scientific proof that our brains work differently. We each have our own areas of strength and weakness, and I accept that. I am proud to be a woman and would not want to be a man, even if I had the chance. I have been married for sixteen years and have seen how myself and my husband handle a variety of life issues in our own ways. From solving money issues to raising our daughter, our opini

Broken Hearted

My last post was created when my daughter was in a relationship and she had that strong hope that "he" was the one. I'll admit I even liked the kid. He seemed kind and level headed. He told me how much he cared for her and then suddenly he booked. He just ended their relationship and it was done like a puff of smoke. Needless to say my girl was heart broken. This young man said all the right words. Those powerful words that a young woman wants to hear. I love you and forever. How do you help to heal someones broken heart? I have told her she is young and has many years to find the one. But I also understand what it is like to be a teenage girl. You have these romantic thoughts about finding your soul mate. I never dated that much as a teen. I was overweight, had an imperfect smile, and came from a home where money was scarce. I was far from popular and had my fair share of teasing. I had plenty of crushes which I didn't tell anyone. I never approached any of them.

Dreaming of Her Big Day

I remember when I was sixteen and I thought that my long time crush would be "the one". I dreamed of what at the time I thought marriage was.All romance and fun. He wasn't the one, but my forever partner wasn't far down the road. At ninteen I was married, followed by pregnancy, and a beautiful baby girl. My husband and I will have been married for sixteen years in May. How time flys. We have been through financial strain, the passing of loved ones, illnesses, a car accident, and other miscellaneous ups and downs. There have been a fair share of tears, both happy and sad. Arguments and plenty of kiss and make-up moments. Marriage isn't quite what I thought it was at sixteen. It's much more. You don't just float through life on a cloud of love. It takes commitment and effort.  Now my daughter has a special guy in her life and she is dreaming of her big day. She shares wedding dress images, cake designs, and a growing guest list for this future event. I

Soldier and Spouse: Two Sides of the Coin

I recently started watching a YouTuber by the name of Loey Lane. I was instantly inspired by her self-confidence, positivity, and take on life as a plus size woman. I enjoy her apparel combinations and make-up tutorials as well. As I watched more of her videos I came to know that she is a military spouse and living in a place I know too well, Kansas. Fort Riley, Kansas is where I was stationed when I met my husband. We had our first apartment in Manhattan, Kansas. I was nineteen when we met and married. Loey stirred all of these fond memories of that time. I have fond memories of being a soldier. I liked my job, was comfortable with my routine, enjoyed my peers, and grew to who I am today because of those experiences. I left service shortly before our daughter was born on base. Who knew a few years later we would return here, but I would be coming back as a military spouse instead of the one in combat boots. It's a whole other world on this side of the fence. As a soldier you d
As a woman I have been taught about the struggles women have over come to be able to have the same rights as their male counterparts. I am proud of those women who fought to acheive this. However, I am saddened that today a woman that does not work outside of the home and chooses to to do so is seen in a negative light. Motherhood and wifehood was once seen as a profession. Now it is seen as the easy life or that housewives are lazy. This to me is crazy. I have worked outside of the home, I have been self-employed working from home, and I am now a "housewife". Each has its benefits and challenges, but none of these options is for a lazy woman. When you work outside of the home you have to pay for childcare. You are often tired and opt for quick fix dinners, and feel that you don't have the energy you wish you had to spend with your spouse and children. When you work from home you have to balance childcare while working, which is one heck of a balancing act. Being a &q

Life is Certainly a Roller Coaster Ride

I first would like to say to the lovely folks who read my blog, I am so sorry that I have not written in so long. My life began to be filled with challenges that I could never have expected. It would have been nice if I could have opened up my book on life and read ahead to mentally prepare for these challenges, but instead they hit me like a ton of bricks. I was concerned for my own health at the time, which turns out to be okay. Polyps, not cancer, so thankful for that. I learned that sadness is often more than sadness. I discovered what depression is. I have also learned how it can be managed for a happier, healthier life. I have felt fear and hopelessness within my family and found that even when you feel that there is no hope in a situation, that you can come out stronger and more resilient on the other side. In 2015 I feel that I am more true to myself and those around me more than ever before. I don't try to be anything I am not, and I am okay if being myself is not ever