One Day At A Time

We are about five months in to mom's diagnosis of terminal cancer. Hospice visits weekly and mom's pain is finally beginning to be controlled. She is also on a steroid now which has her buzzing about and eating every food that contains sugar. She says that if she doesn't have her ice cream she starts jonesing. She cracks me up. Her spirits have lifted and she has been spending more time with me and talking a lot more. I am beginning to feel at ease and more comfortable with life as we now know it. I fear to fully let my guard down as I know it will not stay like this forever. I am just thankful for the positive turn around and to have my mom back, even if it's for just a short time. A childhood friend of my sister's just found out her mom had a cancerous tumor removed and that she must now have chemo. I read all of the prayers on face book and I want to say positive things for her but I am still so unsure and un-trusting of this devastating disease. I do hope with a

With mom being diagnosed with terminal cancer and the preparations for the inevitable, life has been a little bit of a bitter pill to swallow. Strangers from Hospice coming and going and relatives searching for a last minute chance to visit have created a bit of a whirlwind lately. I am not complaining mind you. Hospice has been wonderful in explaining future events and aiding in preparations for the end of life. Mom is now in much less pain with her new meds and able to get out of bed more often. With so many stress inducing things going on I have not been reading some of my favorite blogs and just by chance I read my all time favorite from Kandee Johnson. And to my surprised eyes I see a beautiful photo of her pregnant belly. This instantly made me think of how amazing it is to carry another human being inside your body. To know you are nurturing this little person as anticipation grows for the day when you will meet him or her face to face. Life is unexpected and marvelous. The joy,

My mom had lung cancer in 2008. I flew down and stayed with her after her surgery and she seemed to recover and life was back to normal. The pain however never went away for her and it has continued to get worse. Her living arrangements changed and she asked to move in with me and my family. I thought, its a squeeze but come on in. She's my mom and she needed a home. Well after six months of doctor visits we find the cancer has returned and it has spread. Stage 4. I wasn't in shock because as an avid researcher all signs pointed to it. But the shocker was in the news that it can't be treated. Surgery and chemo are not the option now. Radiation can help retard the growth and prevent internal bleeding. The news became harder to swallow yet. Then Hopsice comes into the picture. I always thought hospice was for the elderly. My mom is only 57. Her hair isn't even white yet! Mom's Hospice team came in like a set of swooping angel's. So much compassion in one room is r

Have you ever had one of those days where you just feel blah? Life is playing out in repeat and from the moment you open your eyes nothing feels quite so delightful. I know it's just a funk that may last a day or maybe more, but from my morning cup of coffee to starting up my computer I have just felt numb. Perhaps it is the fact that there is nothing new or refreshing going on currently or the cloudy skies outside of my window. I feel rather mopey and would like to curl up on the sofa and eat cookies as I watch a tear jerker film. I am happy in general as I have my health, home and a beautiful loving family. I believe it is just the little things in life that are adding up and riding on my shoulder. The bills, automobile and little annoyances are weighing me down. I know their are others out there who can relate. I want to say perk up and look at the bright side but I think it is part of a cycle of ups and downs that we all experience at times. The sun may shine at the end of the

I have decided to look at blogging like free therapy. You get to speak your mind, spill your guts or rant and rave about anything from family to politics. What is the likelyhood that anyone will stumble upon my words and feel the need to comment. There seem to be so many bloggers with inspirational words or passionate views. I myself am not sure where I stand. I am not a powerful patriot, a religious fanatic or a financially driven individual. I am merely stumbling through life learning as I go. I find that it is quite useless to fight over the little annoyances and it is best to fly under the radar. By far I would prefer to be a peace keeper. There are some rather unruly, misguided youngsters in my neighborhood and they have stepped on the toes of some parents. One should never threaten another for their is certain to be a not so pleasant consequence. This is equally said for children who threaten children and adults who threaten adults. Why can't we get along? Really why is it so

I am a freelance writer, children's author and avid journal writer so when I was asked to write blog pages I thought what do I really know about blogging. I have a few friends who blog and I of course love to read their random thoughts and daily ins and outs, but I have never blogged, or have I? I am addicted to Facebook and post the most meaningless chatter so is that blogging? I read the definition that blogging is frequent, chronological, publication of personal thoughts with web links. Seems simple enough. So here I am jotting down my random and likely useless thoughts.I must say though if their was a blog that I actually got something from it's from Kandee Johnson. She is a ray of sunshine in type. Everytime I read her words I feel uplifted. She shares her life's detail with ease and turns even the worst day into a blossoming garden of love and hope. I have to say that's not me. I don't want to admit to being a pessimist but it runs in the family! I always