Dreaming of Her Big Day

I remember when I was sixteen and I thought that my long time crush would be "the one". I dreamed of what at the time I thought marriage was.All romance and fun. He wasn't the one, but my forever partner wasn't far down the road. At ninteen I was married, followed by pregnancy, and a beautiful baby girl. My husband and I will have been married for sixteen years in May. How time flys. We have been through financial strain, the passing of loved ones, illnesses, a car accident, and other miscellaneous ups and downs. There have been a fair share of tears, both happy and sad. Arguments and plenty of kiss and make-up moments. Marriage isn't quite what I thought it was at sixteen. It's much more. You don't just float through life on a cloud of love. It takes commitment and effort.

Now my daughter has a special guy in her life and she is dreaming of her big day. She shares wedding dress images, cake designs, and a growing guest list for this future event. I find myself smiling on the outside but a bundle of nerves on the inside. In just a few short years my baby girl could in fact take her walk down the isle and begin her own journey. I try to share tid bits that I have learned along the way, but let's face it know one listens the their mom when it comes to matters of the heart. She will certainly choose her path and her partner and make her own discoveries along the way.

As I type I feel tears in my eyes. I have seen my daughter conquer challenges, grow in strength, beauty, and independance. I know that the day will come for her to go out onto her own or into the arms of her husband and start life without me by her side. She knows I will always be here for her when she has her tears of happiness and sadness. The phone calls about how to cook her first holiday feast and that coveted family recipe for something tasty to surprise her loved ones with. As she dreams of her future I look at the past. Jelly finder prints and mudd pies. A curly haired girl dancing in her ballerina tutu. How time flys. She might think she is ready but I certainly am not. She will forever be my baby girl. I cherish each day with her, because the sand in the hour glass moves awfully fast and before I know it the calendar will have a day circled on it. It will be "the day".

Comments

A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words

I'm sure you've heard the phrase, " A picture is worth a thousand words". This phrase comes to mind when I look at a photo of myself from October of 2018. The photo was taken during Halloween and I had dressed as a gypsy. No offense to anyone who has a "gypsy" heritage/ancestry. Since I was young I have been fascinated by old movies featuring the typical gypsy fortune teller. And I have loved this image with all of its magic and mystique ever since. So I was so excited to dress up and hand out candy. I took a photo of my garb in all its glory. Then upon seeing this image I was instantly saddened at what appeared before my eyes. Look at this fat lady. My goodness how did I become so wide? I was horrified at my now scary costume. I have struggled on and off with weight gain since high school. I started putting on pounds in 7th grade. You can see that my face was becoming fuller in the school photos. I was a solid size 16 in ninth grade. I lost some weig...

Life's Cross Roads

This blog has been a variety of things since its creation. It started out as research for a job. Then became a personal journal. But I always enjoy using it to express myself and let out my opinion or emotions out and onto the virtual page. It has been too long since I used this outlet for my self, so here goes nothing. I have recently discovered that I am wandering through my life without a compass, map, or guide. I have spent the last 20 years of my life just wandering. I have had no real sense of purpose or direction and this never bothered me until now. It's like I woke up from a dream and was like where am I? I am approaching 40 years of age. I currently am a housewife and trying to accept the fact that my daughter is rapidly approaching adulthood. My husband is driven daily by his side business and my daughter is dreaming of traveling abroad in the near future. I personally feel lost. should I go back to work outside the home? I really have no desire to go back to school o...

Never Any Me Time

If I knew what motherhood, marriage, and working for living was really like as a teen I would have been dragging my feet on the path to adulthood. But no matter what you know or don't, life simply happens. You get a job, you fall in love and get married. You are blessed with a child or children. What was once your life to live becomes a life lived for those you love. You wake up for night feedings, clean up spilled juice, and become a taxi driver. You try to squeeze in date nights, yoga class, and all those appointments. At the end of the day you're tired. And sometimes you wake up feeling tired. There seems to be little to no time for yourself anymore. Does this sound familiar? When I was 19 I took every Thursday to pamper myself. It was my personal spa day. I would give myself a mini facial. I washed my face, exfoliated, and used a face mask of some sort. And after wards I always felt like a million bucks. Something so simple made me feel great every time. But after I g...

One Day At A Time

Search This Blog