Beware the Power of your Words

It can be a co-worker, a friend, a relative, or stranger that is unaware of how powerful the words they release are and the damage they can cause. I remember far to well the hurtful words of bullies in middle school. The remarks from boys in high school, and even the gossip of aquaintances in my adulthood. Whatever happened to thinking before you speak or if you can't say anthing nice don't say anything at all. As much as snide remarks and hateful teasing can hurt the pain that is the most intense is the powerful words spoken to you by a loved one. A parent, spouse, or other person that is closer to you than most can cause deeply felt damage with misguided words. I am not saying that he or she uses their words as a weapon on purpose, though there are some that certainly do. Perhaps he or she speaks this way due to personal pain from experiences in his or her life, though this does not make it right. It is possible that he or she simply is unaware of how their words have been spoken or received. What I do know is that the words given out by those you love can be the guiding force in your life that leads you to thrive or mearly survive in this life. Positive words help us to grow while negative words wound us and slow progress. If you have someone in your life that you love, but breaks you down with their words, know that you are not alone. I certainly don't have all of the answers as to how you cope or even move beyond this pain. I just know that there are more of us out there suffering in silence than sharing this pain. After a rough afternoon of receiving words that broke m spirit I wrote the following. I feel smaller than a child as his hot breath and tempered words pierce me like arrows. He berates me as he informs me of my many short comings. I am insuperior. His furled brow and forceful scolding is for my own good. To educate me on my stupidity. Worthless. Stupid. What's wrong with you? Can't you think? It's common sense. Endless worrying fills my thoughts for fear that I will once again fail in my task and once again receive a tongue lashing. His words are more powerful than the sharpest blade. They cut deeply into my soul. I lose the light that guides the love in my heart as he blows out the candle of hope and faith in myself and my own ability to succeed at anything that I do. Why try when I know I shall fail. It is inevitable that no matter the amount of effort I place in my task I will be shot down and crushed by the angry words of dissatisfaction. Never good enough. Never smart enough. Never talented enough. Simply never enough. I long to hear sweet praise from his lips. To hear that I have done well is like a verbal hug that lifts my spirits and fills me with pride. Rare is the support given through words fueld by love and compassion. Plentiful are the words of judgement and disappointment. Will I ever be good enough? It is easier for me to share my pain and feelings with you than the person who creates these feelings. They are oblivious to the wrong doing and even when confronted are in denial that they cause this pain. That some how it is not there fault but my own for taking these words so sensitively. I hope that by sharing my own pain that some of you will not feel so alone.